The Windows to Your Soul.

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This was what I was greeted with before my Lasik surgery on Friday, and this became my silent mantra throughout the whole surgery process. It was easily one of the most terrifying experiences I’ve ever had. If I didn’t have any problems with wearing my contact lenses I really wouldn’t go through it. Even though it was a success, most thankfully, and the doctor and nurses were extremely encouraging during the operation (In fact I felt a bit like a child during the operation with the lavish praises they showered on me i.e. “You are doing very well!” “Yes, very good.” “Excellent!” “You are the best patient we’ve ever had!” Just to name a few), it was kind of traumatic. The first machine they used, which was supposed to hold on to my eyeball and then create a flap (The thought of it still creeps me out), had such an immense amount of pressure that it hurt, in spite of the anaesthetic eyedrops. The 25 second countdown was the slowest 25 seconds of my entire life. Each second ticked by like a minute. Imagine a 25-second-but-feels-lik- a-25-minute agony on your eyes. That was what I felt.

The laser machine was the second and fortunately the last step. It was as all my friends had mentioned to me before, so I was prepared for it. I didn’t feel anything from the green light shooting into my eyes, but my nose caught a whiff of a burning odour. It smelled like badly charred food. Chao da smell. On my eyes. Yet another stuff of nightmares. And obviously, throughout the surgery I was conscious, and my eyes were open, so I could literally see and feel what they were doing with my eyes. I felt the flap opening and closing; I saw and felt the doctor brushing the bandage lenses onto my eyes.

After they were done with my right eye, which went smoothly, I had a sudden and very belated realisation that they were going to repeat the whole procedure on my left eye. And that was went my mantra went into work in an almost maniacal mode because apparently because of the shape of my eye (It’s different and I didn’t know!? Still looks the same to me) was different the machine couldn’t hold on to my eye properly, so the pressure went on and off relentlessly. Do not worry do not worry do not worry. This was the only thought that I forced into my head. There was no room for fear and doubt. I lay as still as possible and maybe even stopped breathing. Anything to cooperate as best as I could to facilitate the process. Finally they secured the machine over my eye, and, a repeat of the aforementioned torment.

When the surgery was over, I had no inkling of how I looked like. I imagined myself to have eyes swelled to the size of golfballs with all the pain I went through. But my eyes were not swollen, albeit rather red. The left eye had several burst blood vessels, because of the first machine. It may take up to two weeks to heal, according to the doctor. I do hope it heals properly before my next filming. It is not a pretty sight.

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It may not look like much because the resolution is pretty poor, but the red parts are very bright red. It is much better now, but I will continue to keep my fingers crossed till next week!

But well, though the surgery may have been downright scary, the results are fantastic. I didn’t experience any hazy vision, immediately I could see pretty well without glasses. Now, I just have to take good care of my eyes as the flap never really heals. Even as I practise my sprint for the upcoming Sports Day I am a little afraid of things getting into my eyes. I wear my sunglasses, but there was once something really got into my right eye even with the sunglasses on, and it was uncomfortable the whole night. No choice though, I have hardly any time left to practise for the race, and I must confess, I am terribly slow. I have never been talented in sports, even though I do jog during my spare time, I only do fairly long distance running. 100m is my bane. But I digress. Back to my eyes. I hope that my post-op healing will be as smooth as my surgery and all goes well. At night I wear special goggles to sleep. Uncomfortable, but better than me scratching my eyes during my sleep. I almost keep forgetting that my perfect vision is not due to contact lenses though, maybe because of the dry eye feeling so similar to when I wear contact lenses. So I always have this nagging feeling to remove my contact lenses. Thankfully I will always catch myself before my hand goes into my eye.

Talking about dry eyes, every morning is the worst, because it means a whole night of not using any eyedrops on my eyes (Currently it’s every 15 minutes a drop on each eye for my dry eyes, and every three hours two kinds of medicated eyedrops one drop on each eye). Every morning my eyes feel so dry that they can hardly open. I can’t wait for the moisture to return to my eyes. To say the truth, if I had taken good care of my eyes as a kid I wouldn’t have to go through all this now. I was an avid reader, so much so that even as I walked on the streets I would be read a novel. I lie on bed reading, I read in poor lighting, basically I did everything that contributed to myopia. So I hope that anyone reading this now will try to take care of your eyes, after all, they are the windows to your soul.

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On a sidenote, I will definitely miss wearing my coloured contacts. Misty cold grey, warm forest green, ice cold blue, royal amethyst purple. Oh the fun experimenting with myriads of different looks. RIP coloured eyes.
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Sometimes I manifest as an elf, sometimes I take the form of a daisy. But oftentimes, I wish I am a fairy.

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